My friend Grey posted this fantastically written thought rant/speech to Facebook the other day about the violence and protests surrounding the movement of "F*ck Police Brutality" sparked by the death of Michael Brown in Ferguson. Grey was able to write and express his thoughts about this situation in a way that I could not have written so perfectly. I feel the same way as Grey and thought I would share his post with you.
Check Grey out on Tumblr at @disturbancedive , He's amazing!
"In light of recent events, I feel the need to ask for understanding. Discussion, perhaps, but understanding moreover.
I have seen and experienced too much anger and hatred in my life to readily embrace more of it. I am not a violent person. I am not an angry person. There is no turnaround here: I absolutely cannot harbor negativity in my heart. I guess it's just how I was wired. Because of this, the murder of Mike Brown and the issue of police brutality toward people of color has become a subject I can't really talk about with others.
So many people who I know and love are angry. People are shattered or disillusioned or full of righteous anger that they're being forced to demand something as simple as basic respect for human life. And this motivates them. DO NOT get the wrong idea: I am condemning no one. I fully support the vocal protestors of this injustice, and I admire their dedication and willingness to speak out in that way. People are angry, but most of them are also intelligent, and - at least in my limited experience - that could be how revolutions happen when they're needed. I will never be against people genuinely trying something that could work.
I can't do that. Who I am as a person doesn't allow me to do that. Anger and bitterness weigh me down, instead of raising me up. Violence makes me want to cry - and in the curl-up-on-the-floor way, rather than the can-you-hear-the-people-sing way. Maybe this makes me a hippie dippie Hate-Breeds-Hate flower child, but I see no reason to deny that I am one; I cannot operate under hateful or judgmental principles and believe wholeheartedly (and subjectively) that treating people as objects will never create change. I don't need people to agree with me on this.
What I'm asking people to understand is this: pacifism must not be confused with weakness. I am not weak. I am not unfeeling and I am not ignorant - telling me to "get educated" will do nothing, as I can assure you I am always doing my level best to educate myself. I cannot and will not work with anger in my heart - but I WILL work, peacefully and lovingly, until my fingers bleed. I'm not doing this out of some backwards desire to appear "better" or "more moral" than anyone else - I'm doing it because if I am going to be involved in this I would only ever want to do it with my whole heart, and I can't convince my heart that anger or hatred or violence is the answer. Again - I'm not passing judgement on anyone who can, I think whatever you can fuel your passion into to change the world is what you should use - but I, personally, can't. I have to create my motivation and desire elsewhere.
Do not confuse my lack of anger with a lack of care. Do not assume my silence is laziness. Do not categorize nonviolent people as ignorant idealists, because - I can only speak for myself, but I want to solve these problems as much as anyone else. I am committed to changing the world as much as anyone else. I know right from wrong. I am not an idiot. Yes, I am a dreamer, but do not confuse my way of thinking through issues as inaction.
I know myself very well, and I know, honestly, that my brand of "violence" would accomplish nothing - so I am doing my damndest to arrive at a solution, something that I personally can work with, that will actually mean something. It's all I expect from anyone else, and I ask that it be all anyone expects of me.
Hope you enjoyed this! Please comment below with your thoughts.