A letter to the Customer who gave me a panic attack

Story my friend told me, written in first person


Today was a busy day, there was a constant buzz of people, and hardly ever a time that there wasn't a line. I talked to some of my regular customers, one lady even bought me lunch because I gave her an upgrade for being such a nice person.

Of course some people were rude, but not anymore than the usual "I just want to get this and go" attitude that lacks patience. But you were different. You went beyond rude, to straight cruelty, yelling at me, and personally attacking me as a human being. 

You may have thought that you're cruel words would not affect me, that words don't actually hurt. But something you don't know about me is that I am diagnosed with Anxiety & depression. The tone in you're voice, the loudness, the yelling, the mean words you threw at me all took a toll, a toll that you couldn't see because I was trying to fight back the panic attack that was rising up my body, it was like the spark moving along the string of a stick of TNT, about ready to explode. 

As you yelled at me, calling me stupid, pathetic, that I would be hung if I lived where you come from, that I should be fired, and that you were going to call HR and file a compliant against me because I was incompetent. You didn't see that I have a problem with internalizing everything. When you called me stupid, I believe it--even if it was just for a split second. But the more you yelled at me, and berated me and my existence the more I believed in the garbage that you were spewing out of your mouth. The more I felt like I was garbage, and that maybe you were right about me.

As if being on the verge of having a complete and total panic attack wasn't bad enough, add in depression to sucker punch me straight in the gut. 

I should have called the police to escort you off the premises, because you're unnecessary cruelty. But I didn't because I was scared of losing my job, the job that you just made a living hell for me in a matter of minutes. 

You left looking like you were on a high horse--that you were an almighty woman that can get whatever she wants--using extremely offensive language--while claiming that you are on your way to the MTC, for the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. You left thinking you had done no wrong in the world, and that the world was a much better place because you got what you wanted... But you did do wrong.

When you left I broke down. My anxiety took control, and I fell on the ground. I couldn't control my thoughts or my feelings, I was stuck in a hole that was suffocating me with depression and nervous tension. Everything you said circled around in my head like vultures flying over a dead carcass. I was that carcass, the one that you shot and left for dead. 

So Dear Customer,

I hope you realize how big of an impact your words have on people. Some people can brush off everything you said like a piece of lint, but for others, like me, it is not quite so easy. 

I am also a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and you're actions, and words are in no way Christlike or loving. We are taught. "Love thy neighbor as they self", I surely doubt you treat yourself in the same manner you treated me--you're fellow brother, and neighbor. Shame on you.

You mentioned that you're job is to teach other people how to have good customer service as you were yelling, and belittling me. Congratulations Lady, you earned an A+ in how to be the biggest Jerk 101.

I really hope that when we all die, we are shown a "movie" of our lives, and that you see me, laying on the floor sobbing because of what you said to me. Because I just want you to know that what you did, and how you treated me is never okay.

I really hope you never treat someone like the way you treated me. Could you imagine if another person you talked like you had talked to me was contemplating suicide that day, and you were the one that pushed them over the edge because you told them they were worthless, and pathetic and they would never amount to anything? 

No matter how big of a rush you think you are in, or how bad you're day was, or how "annoying" I, or any other person seems to you, it is NEVER okay to threaten, yell at, and demean someone, especially when they are just doing their job and trying to help you. 

So please, please, please, be more aware of your words and your actions! Remember that you never know what demons others are battling in their lives. You never know if someone will have a panic attack because of your meanness, you never know if someone is contemplating suicide or not. We are all fragile beings. We all having feelings. We all get hurt. 

Kill them with kindness, love them despite their weaknesses, sympathize with the situation, be patient, and if you have nothing nice to say than just walk away or say nothing at all. 

Sincerely, 

A concerned human being.